Why The Hell Am I Waiting In Line?

Hmmm... I guess its good that the FAA is testing the TSA screeners. You'd just assume they're very thorough with all the precautions they're taking with ridding everyone of non-bodily liquids. But no, in a 'secret flyer' test the screeners at Newark failed to find 20 out of 22 weapons. Ouch guys. I really like using "security theater" to describe the process, because it apparently really is designed to make me feel safer. They say the outcome isn't a grade, it is a roadmap for improvement. Yeah, a long-ass map in the shape of an "F". The article suggests using alternate means of inspection such as behavioral profiling through probing questions. We got somma that on our way out of Amsterdam. And its strangely effective.

"How long were you here?"
"just overnight"
"you're brothers?"
"yes"
"how long have you known each other?"
"All my life" "Well, I've known him all his life, but not all of mine"
"How do you like our country?"
"It was very pleasant" "do you mind if I throw this away?"
"do you see a trashcan?"
"i think so..."
"you don't like our sandwiches?"
"no, i just... I'm not very hungry"
"...alright"

I can't stress how slowly and deliberately he spoke. I was freaking out man. But all I had to freak out about was not liking that putrid little breakfast sandwich. And I'm still not sure if he didn't know there was a trash can behind him, or if he was just screwing with me.

Screeners at Newark fail to find 'weapons'