Scrubs Quote... ZING!

Elliot: J.D. I really don't wat to do this. Can't we just go home and put on our pj's and watch 'Grey's Anatomy'?
J.D.: Oh, I do love that show. Its like they've been watching our lives and then just... put it on tv.

Ultra-Sonic Beer

I thought Guinness was doing pretty well with simulating the draft pint at home. Now they're selling the 'Surger' system that uses a different gas mix and an ultra-sonic pulse to activate the beer to release all those little bubbles. No widgets for us any more.

Pocket-lint.co.uk Guinness promise magic of the draught pint at home news story

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

Oh wait. They're already all stopped. The Apple keynote bomb dropping is going on as we speak and every site on the Internet relating to mac news has been dugg, slashdotted, and generally DOSed to pre-age of enlightenment. That's ok, though cause this news is WAY better than anything coming out of apple today. Check out showtime in all its prancing glory. That's right 26 episodes of Arrested Development on order. I'm not really sure what this little Canadian News outlet is, but at this point I'm willing to believe anything.

Via donkeyshack

Let's see if you bastards can do 55.

Ok, so honestly, I'd be pissed off.  But since I wasn't one of the people caught in the rolling roadblock I think this is pretty funny.  I'd go as far as to say awesome if it weren't so self-indulgent.  It does a good job in demonstrating that its difference of speed that is dangerous, not high speed.  Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to daydream about a roadtrip through the northwest - land of the straight road and 75 mph speed limit.

A Meditation On the Speed Limit - Google Video

This thing is dead anyway...

Alright, so maybe I'm becoming a little more cavalier with my iPod now that I've had it for a little more than a year. Don't get me wrong, I still need it. I'm NOT going back to the radio. When I first read about people hacking iPods with linux so they could record concerts through the headphones I thought "that's cool, but no way in hell I'm doing it." Well, now when I start my iPod it's got a little picture of tux sporting his very own iPod. Then the screen lights up and scrolls through a crap-load of jibberish and finally it calls podzilla. You may ask what drew me over to the dark side after all this time. Two words: "the whole of wikipedia on your ipod" Yeah, if this works out it'll be badass. Just think of the knowledge I'll be able to abuse. I'm still downloading the English version so I don't know how hard it is to enter text yet, but I'm still excited.

Encyclopodia - the encyclopedia on your iPod

Update
Ever transfer a 750 Mb file onto your iPod? I have. Firewire is fast, but damn.

Lowered Expectations

So "Super Tuesday" is here. And with it will come some big announcement from apple about their great new product. Hope you didn't just buy an iPod. Apple has created quite the little niche with these little or non-announced product launches. The entire industry just starts salivating when Apple says it'll tell them something in a month or two. Give credit where credit is due, its worked like a charm so far. But I'm noticing something; every time Apple has launched something its been a little bit better than we expected. They've done an alright job of keeping our speculations in check by regularly lying to us. You know how they told us that convergence was a myth and that iPods don't need video, wireless isn't something consumers want, etcetera, etcetera. I don't feel like looking up the docs to support those wild accusations right now, so just go with it. Anyway I feel like apple is having a harder time lowering our expectations this time around, just look at some of the pics from the Engadget WWJD contest. Some of this stuff looks pretty sweet. Kinda makes me think about when I heard there was going to be a Matrix sequel. I knew that thing would have to be badass or it would suck a fat one. If Apple just puts out another iPod with a little bigger screen its gonna look like shit compared to these mock-ups, especially considering that Microsoft has been running a little viral campaign of their own with something that looks way more useful than an iPod.

WWJD 3 - Results! - Engadget

Origami Let Down

Well, what did I say? Do you need to go back and read it? That whole Microsoft Origami thing was interesting till I knew what it was. Looks like a big ass pda that I can't fit in my pocket anymore. No interface leaps, no peripheral bounds. I just have to lug around this thing the size of my Game Gear (before I left it in a Red Roof Inn in Ohio) and fiddle with little buttons to make it work. The most useful looking part was the kid who had a keyboard attached to his, and that defeats the 'purpose' of the device. Well at least Microsoft is thinking about a device that I'll want to take everywhere and do everything with, even if they haven't properly devised a solution yet.

Microsoft Project Origami -you tube

Extreme Luxury

Oh baby. I can't wait to get my lighter-than-air travel on. Who needs to get there in 4 hours? When you could do it in 18... with style. Think about it, you have a cabin, a casino, a bar; why start the vacation when the plane lands? Start right at liftoff. I've had a little bit of cruise ship experience, and from what I've tasted I like it.


Aeroscraft Flying Luxury Hotel | Travel Gadgets | Travelizmo

OS-apoluza

Ever had someone tell you their operating system is 'Double Glazed'? Well its about to get worse. There are 6 versions of Vista that Microsoft is going to release, I just hope they don't think I'm willing to pay more to get it.

Vista Starter -- Streamlined version meant for low-powered PCs in developing
nations.
Vista Home Basic -- For those content to browse the web, use email, and create and
edit basic documents from their PC. Includes destop search and security tools.
Vista Home Premium -- Includes everything in Basic but also includes the Aero graphical interface, Media Center
functionality, and ability to connect to Xbox 360. The version most of us will own at home.
Vista Business -- The basic version for companies of all sizes with tools to help organizations manage their PCs.
Vista Enterprise -- Includes everything in Basic but includes improved encryption and BitLocker
system to keep data from being read on a stolen computer.
Vista Ultimate -- All the features
of Home and Business in one.

Microsoft gets official on Vista versions - Engadget

For all you lawyers out there...

But what about the rabbits, George?

Some friends and I were sitting around last night drinking champagne and watching curling and we decided that we were hungry enough to warrant hiring someone to bring us food. So that's what we did, called up and had some Chinese delivered. Now somehow in the most busted "friends ATM" transaction I've seen, I managed to transpose my two crisp twenties into about fourteen mangled ones. My wallet won't even close with these things in it; and the whole reason I went and got twenties in the first place is because the laundry in my building doesn't take ones! Dammit. Oh well, these things happen; but there's gotta be some upside to this whole ordeal. And no, I'm pretty sure my sweet and sour chicken will be eaten before I get home, so the bright side is not leftovers. So now I'm entering all these specimen into the wheresgeorge database before releasing them back into the wild. I bet this'd be a lot more fun if there was more than one entry for these bills.

It's kind of hard to feel like you're getting churros at Disneyland

Apparently that's the serenity that women's figure skaters aim for during their Olympic routines... churros. Riiiight. I hope that's a euphemism for something way better. Anyway, if you missed it, the ladies skated their hearts out last night and the results were more similar to women's luge than you'd imagine. No one has ever fallen in the Olympics and still medaled in figure skating, yet both the silver and second loser had devastating crashes in their performances. What does this say about the quality of competition? Lets take a look:

Morosov admits it: When he began working with Arakawa at his Connecticut rink, he thought she might be Olympic medal material, just not gold-medal material.

Even last month, Arakawa finished third in Japan's nationals behind Mao Asada and Suguri.

Cohen, the leader after the short program, tumbled twice in the opening 35 seconds of her program last night and got the silver. Slutskaya, the silver medalist in 2002, crashed on a triple loop with barely a minute to go and finished third.

Another Japanese skater, Fumie Suguri, deserved a medal. She stayed on her feet, landing five triple jumps, and somehow wound up fourth with 175.23 points.

“I think it was a gift,” Cohen said. “For that performance, silver was generous.”

Cohen's problems started in the six-minute warmup, when she, in her words, “slammed” a triple loop jump and then wobbled on a triple flip and triple lutz. Flustered, she also nearly ran over Arakawa.

The judges were kind to her considering what happened in the first minute.

It was not one of the more memorable nights of Olympic skating, with nearly every woman making a major mistake and even Arakawa making a few minor ones. The last two Olympic champions, Tara Lipinski and Sarah Hughes, both landed two triple-triple combination jumps in the free program; last night no one did. No one came close.

Whew. A circus of the mundane. The top performers playing chicken with each other went over the cliff in a flaming heap leaving the top spot open to a mildly proficient athlete who just didn't crash. Great, get on the podium you won the "I didn't fuck up" medal.

SignOnSanDiego.com Sports 2006 Winter Olympics -- Losing her feat

Igor, Go For Brains!

Holy crap, forget about making sure your meat is fresh; make sure your organ transplants are fresh.

US authorities have charged four men with looting bones and body parts from more than 1,000 corpses and selling them for medical transplants.
Prosecutors say the defendants made millions of dollars from selling body parts harvested from corpses obtained from Mr Nicelli's funeral home.
Bones, organs and tissue were allegedly sold by Mr Mastromarino's Biomedical Tissue Services Ltd to unwitting clients for implants.

I guess I never really thought about using bones from dead people in transplants. Apparently there's a lot of money in the 'doctoring death certificates, stealing people's femurs and replacing them with PVC pipe racket'.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Four charged over US bones theft

The Less You Tell Me...

The more I want to know! 3.2.06 oh man, I can't wait! Intriguing, except that its Microsoft and they always promise more than they deliver.

hello

Secret Chicken.

This is what I'm talking about. Give me free stuff and I'll like your company more. Also appeal to my esoteric side and you'll earn bonus points. KFC knows I'm not watching their commercials. So they're devising secret messages that can only be viewed when the commercial is fast forwarded. Decode the secret, get free chicken. Sounds like a deal to me. I hope they let this slide on its own viral marketing momentum and don't explain it to everyone.

KFC leverages DVR time-shifting to its advantage - Engadget

But I Like Meat

Turn away if your carnivorousness is predicated on ignorance.

So you read about that load of seized meat in Germany, right?  How about the one bound for Orlando?  Literally tons of rotting flesh destined for consumer's stomachs, and all health inspectors can do is wretch when they stumble upon it.  But you won't be taken in.  You know how to spot a rank piece of meat in the grocery.  You only pick the choicest looking cuts for consumption.  Right?  Well here's a little trick.  If you package meat in carbon monoxide the gas will cause that nice red tinge to linger longer.  The result - fresh looking meat that isn't.  Makes you feel all warm and throbby inside, doesn't it?

Treehugger: Another Great Reason to Go Veg- They are Gassing the Meat

News From the Future.

Discrimination!  Tracing thieves by their Y chromosomes!?!  How immoral.  Looks like researchers can identify the surname of most subjects by tracing the Y chromosome back up to 20 generations.  The rarer your name, the better it works.  You know what this means don't you?  Criminal natural selection.  The male crooks will all be caught and we'll have nothing but women seducing and robbing us blind.

New Scientist Breaking News - Y chromosomes give the name away

I was talking to someone last week about teleportation and how it seemed like that whole cloning craze had stolen people's focus.  Well luckily someone is still working on it.  Turns out that teleporting brings us right back to cloning.  Well, sort of.  You know that episode of Star Trek where something happens to the teleporter and they end up with two copies of Kirk?  Neither of them is quite right, having been split from the original.  Well that's what researchers in the UK have going on with photons.  They teleport one photon to two places (destroying the original) but the resulting ones are each a little effed up from the original.  How confident will I have to be before I'm willing to let them destroy my original?  Yeah, I'd better stick to hovercars.

New Scientist Breaking News - Quantum teleporter creates laser beam clones

What the Hell is a "self-licking ice-cream cone"?

I'm not really sure about that one, but it has something to do with reclassifying declassified documents. I'm not talking about moving them to another section of the library, say from young-adult to non-fiction. I'm talking about denying they ever existed. 50 year old documents that have been publicly available and republished in some cases, all of a sudden too sensitive to be read? Even the project responsible for this task is classified, the only reason someone noticed is because the documents he had read before were disappearing around him. I tell ya, there's something about a government that does things it can't tell anyone about that unsettles me. 'I can't tell you that I'm covering up that I'm covering something up.' Hmmm... maybe that's a self-licking ice cream cone.

Defense Tech: Decades-Old Docs Reclassified

More Proof That I'm Awesome

I "Fancy Park" every day.

Fancy Parking

1.21 Gigawatts

Does this make any sense to you? A transmission so fast that it arrives before its sent? Sounds like time travel to me.

Faster than a speeding photon

The Latest Episode of "Dreaming about the Bluths"

Who says I need Fox or Showtime? I watched the newest episode of Arrested Development last night - in my sleep. Sure the writing wasn't quite as snappy and the plot is getting a little unbelievable, but hey that's what happens when shows jump the shark. Alright. Here's a quick synopsis:

Michael, George Michael and Lindsay were all down South America way and decided to check out the monastery where Tobias spent some time a few years ago. Lindsay of course assumed this was a homosexual village and not really a place of study. When the three arrived however, turned out that it really was an old monastery at the top of a narrow ridge on a thin peninsula with small islands around. Lindsay felt a sense of pride in her husband and was again refreshed in her desire to fake a happy marriage. As the travelers enjoyed breathtaking views, they began to notice that the houses all around them were suffering very badly from erosion and in many cases were shored up with only timbers without any foundation on land. Michael and George Michael became very uneasy about the prospect of crashing into the sea and began to search for some means of escape. George Michael came up with a plan and took his father to an abandoned lower tunnel of the Celtic monastery he had found. There was an old section of round tunnel where he proceeded to explain that the ancients built this structure to turn the earth upside down, and if someone could successfully run up one side and around the surface the world would be flipped. George Michael then proceeded to attempt this feat, failing each time, and each time becoming more nervous about the impending landslide into the ocean. As Michael tried to explain to his son why this plan wouldn't pan out (on so many levels) he accidentally triggered a hidden switch which opened the entrance to a secret Icelandic ICBM base that was housed under the peninsula. The two entered the base and boarded a missile bound for the US, leaving Lindsay behind in their haste.

I don't know what you're talking about, I don't miss that show. Shut-up.

Our First Contestant in the Ugly Nice Car Category...

Avanti
(Dee S. Nutts #3)

Not sure if this is the V6 or the V8, either way its weird. They're hand crafted and only 150 a year are produced.

V12 Goodness

Aston Martin Vanquish.
(Dee S Nutts #2)

I actually already have a bunch of these desktops. How come I don't get to see Aston Martins driving around?Homina Homina Homina.

Blockbuster Sucks It Up Since Aught Two

Yeah, you'd think Blockbuster would have a hard time of it these days. So why might Apple be interested in acquiring them? For the checkout lines. As Cringely points out, the plethora of locations Blockbuster has (which is hurting them in the DVD rental market) may be a boon to tapping into a new iPod market. The best part about all of this speculation is that I'd be able to take my media with me and play it on my TV.

PBS | I, Cringely . February 16, 2006 - BYOB

Clarkson to PR Girl: suck it.

Jeremy Clarkson is the guy on Top Gear who is quite a lucky man.  In this review of some Nissan truck he mostly outlines why it kicks ass to be a car journalist.

"each week, a brand new car is delivered to their house, full of fuel and insured"

He pokes jabs at car industry PR people and amusingly degrades their product.

"Though quite why anyone might want a pick-up truck I have no idea. They are, to the world of cars, what Mexican food is to the world of cuisine. They exist, they are popular in Texas, and, er, that’s it."

Mostly its just amusing, not a useful review, which I'm fine with.  Oh, and if you want more proof that he has the best job in the world, check out the Top Gear Winter Olympics.  Which is an hour long video of biathlon, luge,speed skating, hockey and ski jump all done in cars.  Yeah his job is better than even the Mythbusters.

Nissan Navara - Jeremy Clarkson - Times Online

Huh, Curling?

Well I watched some women's curling yesterday. Its one of those sports where I think I know what's going on, but then something happens and I just stare at the screen trying to figure out what they're doing. That's fine, I don't need to learn all the rules. I didn't watch all 3 hours of it (luckily I could skip to the end) but I was good for about 40 minutes. And let me tell you those Johnson sisters, Jamie and Cassie; damn cute. Maybe I should go hang out at curling rinks in Minnesota.

Its No Delorean

No, no, NO!  I can just imagine the headlines now:

17 killed in suv crash

The 2.5 ton flying truck mangled car after car as it tumbled down the freeway. Soccer-mom/pilot Nancy Smuckerfutz says she just doesn't know what happened, "there must have been something in my blind spot."

I do not need to worry about flying SUV's.  If you need to fly, you need an airplane.  If you need to hop over to the 7-11 you need a car.  I know I've been bitching about "where's my flying car" since 2001 but this is not what I'd imagined.  I don't want cars with wings; I want hover cars.  You know gravity-defying magic, futuristic non-volitle non-polluting fuel sources.  I don't think this idea will take off (hehe, get it?) but I also didn't think that WWE raw would beat out the Arrested Development Finale.  Americans are as smart as a hand grenade in a barrel of oatmeal.

Flying car ready for takeoff? | CNET News.com

Update
Lookit, the Australians have hover cars.

Is There Any Reason to Buy CDs?

So you know how 'fair use' meant that you could make a copy of a song for your own personal use? Wrong. The RIAA is now maintaining that its unlawful to rip your CD's and put them on a DAP. Huh, don't you spose that this will drive people screaming from CD sales? I mean, I can make a CD from my downloaded songs. The only difference used to be a little cost and a CD case. But now I can't do anything with a CD, so why would I buy one? Oh, the RIAA also thinks you're not allowed to burn a copy as a personal data back up; meanwhile iTunes still reminds you to backup your data after every album download. It may seem like Apple is coming out as the hero here, but I still haven't upgraded to iTunes 6.2 and 6.3 just came out. Mostly I just don't know what DRM restrictions they might be trying to sneak over on me. Its not really a big deal, I'm just a little shy since I got burned on version 6.0. Oh and I'm also a little put off that I can't burn my downloaded videos into DVD format so I can watch them on my tv. Maybe they don't want me to see that their download quality doesn't even approach DVD quality and I should just go buy the disc version. That's why they want me to watch it on a 2.5" screen instead of a 37" one. Alright, so download your CD's online and buy your DVD's in brick and mortars, got it?

EFF: DeepLinks

Total Recall Wasn't Factual?!?

I always thought you had to close your eyes as tight as you could and hold your breath when you tried to jump from the luner lander to the waiting airlock on the orbiter. Turns out that Movies and TV have been lying to me. Human skin doesn't rupture in a vacuum and you eyes don't pop out. Your blood won't boil and you won't flash freeze.

Don't get me wrong, its no picnic. All exposed saliva would evaporate, resulting in wicked cottonmouth. After a few seconds you'll have quite a sunburn. Oh also, don't hold your breath, you'll have lung rupture sized trouble. In about 10 seconds you'll prolly get the bends. That's alright though because 5 seconds later deoxygenated blood will reach the brain and you'll pass out. Assuming you've got some good buddies and they know what they're doing, they have 90 seconds to get you back inside for a chance at a full recovery.

"At NASA's Manned Spacecraft Center (now renamed Johnson Space Center) we had a test subject accidentally exposed to a near vacuum (less than 1 psi) [7 kPa] in an incident involving a leaking space suit in a vacuum chamber back in '65. He remained conscious for about 14 seconds, which is about the time it takes for O2 deprived blood to go from the lungs to the brain. The suit probably did not reach a hard vacuum, and we began repressurizing the chamber within 15 seconds. The subject regained consciousness at around 15,000 feet [4600 m] equivalent altitude. The subject later reported that he could feel and hear the air leaking out, and his last conscious memory was of the water on his tongue beginning to boil."

Just in case you were wondering.

Human adaptation to space - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia