Fresh Child Juice.

Look, if you can find a hole on the boy that you want to put your lips on, be my guest.

Got this one from Dee's RSS feed (yeah, I talked him into it)
Its a Swedish invention to aid in removing whatever liquid -or near liquid- may be in or coming out of your child at a rate no sufficient to satisfy a parent.  That's right folks, line up to get your snot straws.  Just the thought of sucking some phlegm into my soft palate is enough to make me want to ralph.

• Further Proof That Swedes Are IN-SANE! : Dadsmacker on Offsprung.com