How DO They Do It?

I'm no economist, but doesn't it seem like it would be hard to set record breaking quarters when supply costs go up and demand is declining? You know, unless you're gouging the living shit out of your customers in an industry-wide price fixing conspiracy...

• BBC NEWS | Business | Another record profit for Exxon

Honestly?

Dude who called me twice this morning at 5:37 and 5:38,
     Please don't do that.  I generally sleep (roughly) between the hours of 11:30 and 6:30.  I will definitely be cranky if woken from slumber during those hours, doubly so if its by an unknown caller with nothing to say.  A medical emergency, I could understand, but I'm pretty sure that "What's up? ... Sleeping? ...  [unintelligble] ... [unintelligible] ..." could have waited until at least 9:00.  I'm trying to imagine what time zone you could be calling from that this might seem reasonable, but I'm coming up blank.  So, to review: I didn't answer your first call because I didn't recognize your number and it was five thirty in the goddamn morning.  And I hung up on you after your second call because you had nothing interesting to say and it was five thirty in the goddamn morning.  Next time you wonder what I'm up to, please replay this exchange in your head and rest assured that the results would be very similar.

Whoops!

Lotus outs its new Evora model as a chick car. Light sportscar enthusiasts everywhere utter collective "Crap." Also, its not that light...

The vital accessory for the modern woman is the new, seductive sportscar from Lotus.

What did you guys get your PR materials mixed up with those of a blender ad from the 50's?

• Lotus Evora: The Lotus Evora Weighs A Ton...And A Half

Special Edition.

Well I should have guessed it. Let the commercialization of bloodshed begin! And Smith & Wesson are the first ones with their foot in the door, providing a beautiful laser etched revolver commemorating the Supreme Court's recent decision to endorse gun-nuts nationwide. I'm not sure I'm going to get one since I think the decision to equate the general term "arms" with handguns (arms specifically designed to be concealed) is a little presumptive. But do you think I could get a limited run of these wedding favor revolvers?

• DCist: Smith & Wesson to Offer 'Commemorative' D.C. vs. Heller Gun

You're Putting WHAT In My Chest?

I'm not really sure what to say about this. I feel like it warrants a comment though. Let me just say it again and see how I feel. Nuclear Pacemaker. Holy crap; how is that a good idea? Was plutonium some kind of magical fairy dust in 1974 that make everyone feel warm and... radioactive inside? Obviously someone was all about it cause they installed these badboys in 50 to 100 people in the US. I guess they just didn't have the battery technology back then and the next best thing they could think of was rare radioactive elements. Fair enough...

• Plutonium Powered Pacemaker (1974)

Awesome Sauce

There's computers in traffic lights and increasingly more in cars, why shouldn't they talk to each other? An Audi test program is interfacing with enabled traffic devices that inform onboard systems about their cycle durations. That way speeds can be calculated to hit the light rolling, rather than stomping on the brakes for a yellow you didn't quite make. I'm pretty sure I blagged on this idea a couple years ago then it was billed as technology of the future. Good to know we're finally making it there, even if there are no flying cars.

• Audi pilot program tells drivers how to squeeze the lemon - Engadget

Evizzle, Fo Shizzle.

More tabs. More options. More pain in the ass. Evite is upgrading to allow users to embed objects from popular online timewasting sites like youtube and such in an effort to make evite more of a recurring destination and less of a pain in the ass one-time click. Sounds like you guys are putting an awful lot of effort into making a dynamic and valuable tool... But can you just email me the goddamn date instead of making me click links to figure out I'm busy during "crazy hat fiesta", or whatever theme party is happening this week.

• Evite goes 2.0 - Download Squad

Impulse Purchase Much?

Well you might want to stay away from this. Tivo has just inked a deal with Amazon to enable purchase of items shown on the screen from Amazon's online boutique. Just in case you're too lazy to walk to the computer room to do your online mail-order consuming. See an ad for Charmin butt-wiping paper? Click! They'll be in your mailbox tomorrow. I'm not gonna say that this isn't innovative, or kinda cool but I just hope its not too terribly invasive. I use Tivo to keep companies from halking crap on my screen, not to accidentally buy an incredible hulk bobble head. Wait. Do they have those? Maybe I do need one...

• TiVo Brings Amazon.com Shopping to Television

Elite Dorks.

I have never ridden a segway. I have never fired a gun. I'm just trying to be fair and lay down my complete lack of experience in both of these fields. But if I was a Special Weapons and Tacts officer I'm pretty sure I would eschew the use of a segway in favor of... oh, being able to run wherever I needed to go. I'm told these things drive around based on how you balance your weight and I have just one question for these dudes riding around with hand canons drawn. What does recoil do your aim while wobbling around on a platform that bobs and weaves as a result of recoil? Ok, I lied, I have another question. Don't your inner thighs just burn like nascar rubber from squeezing that handlebar all day?

BSOtD

(Brilliant Statement of the Day)

I'm not actually sure how he keeps track of all his brilliant statements. Maybe some kind of diary.

"Dear diary you should have heard the brilliant statement I made today in the Rose Garden. It was about gas and wands and about how wands don't grow on gas pumps. Or trees. Do you think there's any hardboiled eggs in the kitchen? Those are good."
 

Bushism of the Day

via Slate Magazine by Jacob Weisberg on 7/17/08

"I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand —but the president doesn't have a magic wand. You just can't say, 'low gas.' "—Washington D.C., July 15, 2008

Zoom.

Anyone checked out Google Earth lately?  I know, you're kinda tired of the flight simulator, and even the 3D buildings are getting played out.  But they really are adding more and more services all the time.  (that's where GIS is going; services that are consumed by GIS clients no matter their particular use.  Earth is just a streamlined visualization client Google pump out so that idiots like you can have a lick of the GIS cone.)   Anyway, I popped it open today to compare the DC Bus routes KML file to the SHP (you guys need to work on the KML symbology) and I noticed a new-looking traffic service in the layers pane.  It looks to be the same data source that Maps and Mobile use to create red, yellow and green polyline representation, except its the data collection points themselves.  You can click on the points to see some of the underlying data.  Yeah, that sample is showing 81 in a 55, cause in DC that's just how we get things done.

Bleeding Demised.

So this sign was on the front door or my office building yesterday. I know what the sign says (i AM literate you know) but the picture just screams kidnapping randsom note to me. A poor, frightened parrot in a bath tub lying on its back with its feet bound together... come on! And then of course my mind jumps right into dead parrot sketch "the norweigen blue prefers kipping on its back". What? Your brain doesn't work that way? Weirdo.

Oh John, We Hate You Too.

How to alienate younger generations of voters:
1) be older than sin
2) admit you don't know how to use or care about the internet
3) tell people that do use the internet that you hate them

“Now we’ve got the cables. We’ve got talk radio. We’ve got the bloggers. I hate the bloggers."

I hear ya John, I hate the talk radios so much it almost hurts. Just the thought of all those whippersnapping 45-60 year olds using wireless frequencies and coiled wires to say things about what they think; makes my blood boil.

I feel like this is gonna be my new catch phrase. Every time something goes wrong; like when I stub my toe and veins pop from my forehead in rage as my face turns red and blood pressure skyrockets, I'll exclaim "I hate the bloggers." It'll be great.

• I Hate The Bloggers - Featured Video on BuzzFeed

Bam.

Octopus room.

Yeah, check out that ceiling. They don't make shtuff like that anymore. Of course there's prolly a reason for that... Like they can only get 9 planes up to this airtravel roundhouse at a time. Neat!

Retro

Wow, I've never flown out of the 'a' terminal at National before. And i thought the 'b' and 'c' terminals were oldschool. Check out these signs telling which airlines are relegated to the 'museum wig'. I feel like i accidentally metroed into 'catch me if you can'.