And what fuck is up with your scientific classification? Its in your damn name... leopard. You are clearly a sub-species of the... wait for it... LEOPARD! You and your freakshow cousins in the Neofelis Genus. What, you think you're so special cause you can't roar? That's ridiculous. I can't roar either, snow leopard, do I get my own genus and species? No. So get your ass over to Panthera Pardus before I really get angry. We're done here.
In Barack Obama's America sno-cones are free on weekends.
In Barack Obama's America pigeons poop rainbows and gold.Well that was crazy. I mean, it was really a spectacle like I'd imagined. Although, in retrospect, I hadn't really imagined it all that thoroughly. Two million people walking through the streets is something that I just had to experience before I could conceive. Its not just that there are streets filled with people. All the streets are filled. I've never thought of people as a liquid before. It is not some grand parade, everyone is going somewhere different. No one is really sure where though. Everyone is trying to beat the crowd and the crowd control. And every time you get to where you think the crowd won't be, its beaten you there.But don't let me make it sound competitive or angry. Everyone is smiling and happy. Everyone is helpful. Sort of. "Do you know where you're going?" "No idea!" was a common exchange. At one point a stalled crowd was swelling against a chain link and it gradually transitioned into shaking the fence. I could imagine the fence falling with a sigh and the surge of people into the empty construction area (not a security area, just a street rehab effort) But just then a woman yelled "Barack Obama wouldn't want you doing that" and they stopped. They behaved. They were not a mob, but a group of proud and jubilant people. He will be a better president for us, and we have to be better for him.
I don't think I've seen more law enforcement personnel in the entirety of my life. I also have an accurate image of what the world would be like if black towncars, suburbans and police cruisers and were the only automobiles. And they all had lights and sirens. We made it through the maze of bus barricades, closed entrances and the no-walk zone that city thoroughfare Pennsylvania Ave had become. We were on the mall, a feat whose feasibility I'd begun to doubt. As we climbed the hill of the Washington monument the east half of the mall stretched before us a sea of people. All waiting watching and drinking in the spectacle that we all were. We huddled like penguins against the wind, clapped like seals with our gloved hands and cheered like people who finally wintessed the fruits of their peaceful democracy.So here we go. A new era of hope and prosperity. Of compassionate and constitutional government. Of science and stewardship. I spose its also the end of me being able to complain willy-nilly about the ridiculous state of politics. This is the best thing I can imagine happening for our country and the world. But this is only the start. The next step is ourselves. The policies and practices will change and we will need to change too. Make this a better time to be an American. Lend a hand to your fellow people, and together we will make this a great nation to be proud of again.In Barack Obama's America people help each other instead of being left to help themselves.
Here's a blast from the past. Anyone remember Hott Spotting? Its been quite a while and I'd actually shut down the submission email address (hottspot at dp dot com) so Dee S Nutts #2 had to send this one to me by carrier pigeon. Its some kinda fancy-pants Lamborghini with "I can park in super thin spaces and still get out" doors. Actually looks a lot like the one I saw in London a while ago.
Labels: hott spot
Some people may want to call cougars panthers. But they're wrong, cougars are cougars, mountain lions or, perhaps most correctly, pumas. Panthers are large black cats that want to eat your soul. (See visual aid.)
Below we have the various genera of the Felidae (kitty-cat) family including both sub-families, Pantherinae (roaring; mostly) and Felinae (adorable; mostly), listed as best I can in order of size. There's nothing on the list straight-up called a "panther". (besides one of the other names for a puma, which isn't even in the Pantherinae sub-family, so that can't be right. Of course I've also got a problem with the various types of leopards, lynx, and bunches of tiny cats that somehow weaseled their own genera onto the chart. Somebody needs to do some damn housekeeping.)
Animalia, Chordata, Mammlaia, Carnivora:
- Panthera- Tiger, Lion, Jaguar, Leopard
- Unica- Snow Leopard
- Neofelis- Clouded Leopard, Bornean Clouded Leopard
- Puma- Cougar(mountain lion, puma, panther), Jaguarundi
- Acinonyx- Cheetah
- Lynx- Eurasian Lynx, Bobcat, Canadian Lynx, Iberian Lynx
- Caracal- Caracal (persian lynx, african lynx)
- Leptailurus- Serval
- Profelis- African Golden Cat
- Pardofelis- Bay Cat (bornean cat, bornean red cat), Asian Golden Cat
- Catopuma- Marbled Cat
- Leopardus- Colocolo, Pantanal Cat, Pampas Cat, Geoffroy's Cat, Kodkod, Andean Mountain Cat, Ocelot, Oncilla, Margay
- Felis- Chinese Mountain cat, Jungle Cat, Pallas' Cat, Sand Cat, Black-footed Cat, wildcat, Domestic Cat,
- Prionailurus- Leopard Cat, Iriomote Cat, Flat-headed Cat, Rusty-spotted Cat, Fishing Cat
grade school failed me in the archives.
Also, if a Bengali panther asks to play, the polite response is not yes, or no, but to close your eyes tightly and try to wake up.
Okay, now, look at this, which I'm sure you've seen before:
Come ON. Right? Its not just me. Choke Forest, choke!
"They misunderestimated me."Yes, but little did we know in 2000 by how much we had misunderestimated this wet noodle.
"I think war is a dangerous place."Well, that's very true, I suppose. If war were a place it would be dangerous. Good.
"the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."Jebus, the Iraqis didn't hear this one did they? Cause it would have probably scared the shit out of them, what with it at least sounding coherent.
"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."I know.
"I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."Well, public grade schools anyway.
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."Lets hope he wasn't eyeing the McDonald's drive-thru menu.
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."But if I think fish have started making wmd's, they're going down.
"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."What're you, a lawyer now? Lets leave the fancy talk to the attorney general.
"A leadership is someone who brings people together."That's probably a technical term from the air national guard. You know, 'form up on the leadership' or something.
"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."Yes, I imagine you've out smarted us all. Somehow.
Lets, see, if I can burn about 22 songs onto a CD and can burn and rip a CD in about 12 minutes, I could process about 110 songs an hour. At 30 cents a song that's $33, minus the cost of 5 blank CDs, $32 an hour. So unless you'd be making more than that sitting around scratching your ass (I'm assuming you're not taking time off work to do this) its not really worth converting to iT+. Added bonus of the ripping method, you've got an extra CD to give to your ipodless friends, old school P2P style. (otherwise known as the mix tape) I haven't heard of the RIAA tracking anyone down for lending CDs to their friends yet.
Also, remember that Amazon sells DRMless music for between 79-99 cents every day and emusic.com's plans average out to between 40 and 26 cents per track. Apple is late to the party and all they brought was a half-full bottle of creme de banana. Puke.